Perhaps there is no perfect partner in this world. They say we're all here because we were envious and selfish and need to re-learn how to love Krishna, unconditionally. Sometimes Krishna may give us a partner who pushes all of our buttons, and forces us to become humble and take shelter of Him. Whatever challenges come our way, may those challenges remind us of our only shelter, our eternal partner, Sri Krishna! Govinda! Hari! Murari! He Natha! Narayana! Vasudeva!
I am reminded of something Mahatma Prabhu said during the Sharanagati Japa Retreat… “How you do anything, is how you do everything.” Using this simple measure we can sample what life would be like with a potential partner by taking inventory of how that person currently leads their life. It’s a good indication of things to come.
For a devotee, the measure of a good person is how much time this person spends pleasing Krishna, versus pleasing themselves. Is s/he mostly self-less and humble? Or pre-occupied with being selfish and proud?
(Imagine spending the rest of your life with a selfish and proud person?)
Some questions you might ask your aspiring partner:
1) How do you spend your spare time?
2) If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
3) At the end of your life, looking back, what would you like to have accomplished?
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26 Qualities of a Devotee
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being best), rate your potential partner on how well they exemplify each of the following qualities, in relation to Krishna consciousness. If the overall score is low, chances are it's not going to get much better.
(Wouldn't you rather know now?)
Kripalu - merciful
Akrita-droha - humble
Satya-sara - truthful
Sama - equal to all
Nidosha – faultless
Vadanya – magnanimous
Mridu – mild
Shuci – clean
Akinchana – without material possessions
Sarvopakaraka – performs welfare work for everyone
Shanta – peaceful
Krishnaika-sharana – surrendered solely to Krishna
Akama – desireless for material pleasures
Aniha – indifferent to material acquisitions
Sthira – fixed in devotional service
Vijita-shad-guna – control the six bad qualities (lust, anger, greed, and so forth...)
Mita-bhuk – eats only as much as required
Apramatta – not inebriated with sense gratification
Manada – respectful
Amani – without false prestige (i.e. not proud)
Gambhira – grave
Karuna – compassionate
Maitra – friendly
Kavi – poetic
Daksha – expert
Mauni – silent (does not engage in idle talk)
More Questions...
4) If you could earn three times as much money at a job far away from the temple, would you take the job? Why?
5) In your daily life, how much time do you allocate to performing devotional service to Krishna and His devotees?
6) How important, in your life, is surrendering to a spiritual master and serving him with humility?
7) Statement: “Anything done without the objective of pleasing Krishna is useless.”
Could you live your life by this statement?
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In compiling the above, I read the Bhagavad-gita As It Is, Chapter 16, Divine and Demoniac Natures, describing the characteristics of a good person (in this context, good husband or wife).
I also read Vaishnava Behavior and the 26 Qualities of a Devotee, by Satsvarupa dasa Goswami, elaborating on each of the 26 qualities mentioned above and how they are exhibited by a Krishna conscious person. This easy-to-read book is one of my all-time favorites.
